Nowadays, social media is inevitable. For adolescents, it’s not just about memes or dance challenges. It is a platform for interacting, connecting, learning, and developing their identity. While social media can boost happiness, creativity, and confidence, it also brings risks to adolescents like cyberbullying, pornography, harmful content, addiction, and poor academic performance.

In the contemporary digital landscape, where parents’ digital literacy skills often lag behind those of their children, the role of parents in navigating this digital terrain presents significant challenges. How do parents help their adolescents get the best out of social media without falling into its traps? A group of researchers decided to explore this question in Indonesia, one of the biggest social media markets in the world.

 

The Smartphone Dilemma

Indonesian parents often give their child a smartphone around age 13 or 14, when they start junior high school. Why then? Mainly because schools themselves are requesting parents to support their children’s learning, for instance, enhancing communication between teachers and students through WhatsApp groups, doing online exams, or digital homework. These activities are part of everyday learning nowadays.

On the other hand, parents also feel worried. What if their children see harmful content? What if strangers approach them online? What if the technology makes them sit too much, gives them headaches or eye strain? And of course, there’s also parents’ classic fear: What if social media ruins their grades?

This tug-of-war creates what the researchers call a ‘parental dilemma’ as parents want to trust their adolescents and support their learning through social media while protecting them from online risks.

 

Strategies Parents Use

The study found that Indonesian parents rarely stick to a single strategy. Instead, they mix and match between the following strategies:

• Access restriction: setting time limits or rules for social media use.
• Monitoring: checking passwords, chats, or who their adolescents communicate with online.
• Interpretative mediation: discussing content, teaching their children how to evaluate what they see.
• Supervision / co-use: sitting nearby or joining in when their children are online.
• Interaction restriction: keeping accounts private and limiting contact with strangers.
• Technical mediation: using apps or passwords that might help in doing supervision/restriction (although adolescents often find ways around it).
• Modelling: showing good online behavior by example.
• Norm implementation: reminding children of their cultural or religious values as a guide.

Two of the last strategies stand out in the Indonesian context: modelling and norm implementation. The study shows that Indonesian parents don’t just say “don’t do this/that”, but they tend to try to live by example, and they often frame digital rules around respect, religion, and family honor.

 

Teens, Culture, and Online Life

The study did not just talk to parents. It also asked the adolescents what they thought. Some admitted that their parents’ rules helped them avoid trouble online or stay focused on school. Others found the rules frustrating, as they felt over-monitored or not trusted enough by their parents.

Culture also plays a big role here. In Indonesia’s collectivist society, family values and social harmony are central. Parents often stress respect for elders and religious teachings, weaving these principles into digital rules. Teens may push back against restrictions, but they also recognize the cultural weight behind their parents’ guidance.

This mix of acceptance and resistance highlights an important point: parenting strategies are never one-size-fits-all. They are shaped by cultural context, family expectations, and the ongoing negotiation between adolescents’ independence and parents’ protection.

 

Main Takeaways

All in all, this is not just about using new technology. It’s about preparing young people to become responsible digital citizens. Parents can’t do it alone, but they play a key role in shaping how adolescents balance their online life, education, and well-being.

This research offers a fascinating look at family dynamics in the digital era nowadays in Indonesia, but with lessons that resonate worldwide. For those who want to dive deeper, the full article offers detailed insights into the findings and cultural context, making it a valuable read for anyone interested in digital parenting and adolescent development.

This article is based on the research from:

Purboningsih, E. R., Massar, K., Hinduan, Z. R., Agustiani, H., Ruiter, R. A. C., & Verduyn, P. (2024). Parental mediation strategies for social media use: a thematic analysis of perspectives among Indonesian parents and adolescents. Behaviour and Information Technology, 44(12), 2838–2859. https://doi.org/10.1080/0144929x.2024.2413454